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奥德丽 赫本, 高尚的灵魂


Audrey Hepburn, An Elegant Spirit

Although she was never an ardent follower of any formal religion, my mother’s own faith endured throughout her life: her faith in love, her faith in the miracle of nature, and her faith in the goodness of life. She honored this second chance at life at every opportunity that presented itself and most of all at the end of her life, through her work for UNICEF.

Sometimes a near-death experience can free us of the shackles that life slowly trains us to wear. We come to realize what’s worth the sweat and what isn’t. Although she had no memory of her childhood near-death experience, the knowledge of it, coupled with the fertile ground of an already self-effacing nature, were the roots of the humility that graced her entire life.

I never heard her say, “I did this,” or “I’ve done that.” Toward the end of her life, throughout the UNICEF years, I would hear her say regularly, as the world listened to her, “I can do very little.” I never heard her say that she liked any of her performances. When people complimented her, she would always shy away and ultimately explain how those who surrounded her were the reason for her success.

Bessie Anderson Stanley wrote, “To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition, to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded.” By Ms. Stanley’s standards, my mother’s life was a success: She was graced with good choices. The first choice she made was her career. Then she chose her family. And when we, her children, were grown and had started our lives, she chose the less fortunate children of the world. She chose to give back. In that important choice lay the key to healing and understanding something that had affected her throughout her entire life: the sadness that had always been there.

Her choices healed the sadness of a little girl who didn’t know her father for most of her life and yet who yearned and longed for that warm embrace, that reassurance that you are loved and that you matter. When I look back, that is just what she gave to Luca and me: the reassurance that we were loved and that we mattered. This was the most valuable essence, the roots that live and grow forever inside you. She truly was a wonderful mother and friend.

译文

虽然她并非一个某种正式宗教的热切信奉者, 但我母亲在其一生中却怀抱着自己的信念和信心: 这些信念囊括了她对爱的信念,对自然奇迹的信念 , 和对生活里仁善的信念。在她为联合国儿童基金会工作的年月里,她十分珍惜生活中出现的再次机会以及所呈现的每一次机遇尤其是在她晚年岁月中所遇到的每一次机遇。

有时,一种濒于死亡的体验(即:死去活来或死里逃生的体验)能让我们从生活中业已慢慢形成的精神桎梏中解脱出来。 使我们认识到那些东西是值得为之奋斗的那些则不是。 虽然她对孩提时期死里逃生的感受已记忆模糊,但由于对这种体验有了认识,再结合那种业已养成的逊让与谦和的本性,则形成了那种使她表现出谦和逊让的人生态度的源泉和动力,正是由于这种态度才让她一生都光彩无匹。

我从没有听到她说过此类言语," 这是我做的," 或 " 那也是我做的”。 即便到了她的晚年,在为联合国儿童基金会做事的整个期间,自始至终,我常听她说过的话则是, 正如国际上所周知的那样,"我个人能做的非常有限。” 就这么简单,谦逊。我从未听她提起过自己的作为也未见她对此表示过满意和欣喜。 当人们赞扬她的时候, 她总是会不好意思地加以回避,然后又会解释说她的成功应归功于那些在她身边工作的人们。

贝西安德森?斯坦利曾写到," 能够时常地笑并笑得多, 能够赢得贤达开明人士的尊敬和孩子们的爱戴, 能够赢得正直善良的批评家们的赏识并能容忍虚伪奸诈的朋友的辜负及亏枉, 会欣赏美, 善于发现别人的长处和优点,不论去帮助一个孩子改善其健康,或拾掇出一片美丽的田土还是改善一下社会环境条件来让世界更美好,哪怕就一点点, 甚至获悉由于自己尽了一点力而使某个人的生活过得更容易一些, 这就是成功。” 按照斯坦利女士的标准, 我母亲的生活就是属于这种情况: 由于她所进行的美好选择让她成为了一位光彩而高尚的人。她所做的第一个选择是她的事业。 然后她选择了家庭。 而且当我们,她的孩子, 长大成人并开始了自己的生活时, 继而又选择了世界上生活得很不幸的孩子们做为她奉献爱心的对象。 她选择了回归。 在这个重要的选择中蕴含着对与治愈和理解那种始终贯穿并影响她一生的某种东西的关键: 一种挥之不去的悲凉情绪。

她的选择治愈了一位在她生活的大部分时间里都不认识自己的父亲,而且一直都渴望着能得到一个温暖的拥抱和那种被爱和被关怀的慰藉的小女孩的悲伤。 当我追忆往昔时, 觉得那正是她所给予卢卡和我的东西: 我们被爱和被关怀的安全和慰藉感。 这就是最有价值和最宝贵的东西,一个在你内心深处荡漾生长着的源泉。她真不愧为一位出色的母亲和朋友。

 


 

 

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